yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
