oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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