I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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