What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
