We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
