Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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