You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
