dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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