hell yes lets make some ravioli
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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