are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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