do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
