all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
