Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
