If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So much Jack, so little girl.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
