People with herpes should wear stickers.
where does the pee come out of this thing
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
