you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
