When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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