We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
