I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
