I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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