Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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