It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
