Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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