I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
