seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
