Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
