Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
