How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
