we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
