Already got asked if we're dating
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
