Whod you bang
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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