i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
