mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she woke up with a sticky ear
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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