I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
