She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
