god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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