I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
