You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
