I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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