didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
