you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
