What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
