I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
