MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
