Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
