I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
