Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
