I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
