Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
