i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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