fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
