It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
