I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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