if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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